When I was your age we didn't call it "vegan" we just called it "poor"

Luckily, one of my favorite foods of all time is totally vegan: pinto beans. Ever since I was a little girl I've loved these things, and there has always been an abundance of pintos in my life. Every baptism, wedding, matanza, graduation, funeral, and Sunday dinner at Granpa's house you'd just have to make your way to the crock pot in the kitchen and ladle yourself a big ole serving of brown goodness into a Styrofoam bowl, grab a tortilla, (tortillas by the way are vegan if they're made with vegetable shortening, but not if they're made the traditional way with lard,) and you were good to go. I was positive that my Auntie Ana made the best beans in the whole entire world, and used to brag about them to everyone in my second grade class. I also didn't know that there were other kinds of beans in this world until I got to college. Trust me I was quite suspicious of those so called "black beans." However, although beans have been a long time staple in my family, I hadn't the faintest idea on how to make them on my own. So that's when good ole mom comes in. She taught me how to make the pintos old school style, yo. It's remarkably easy actually, sort the beans, get out all the bad ones and the rocks and stuff, soak them over night, put them in the crock pot over the course of the day, come home and have a delicious, filling, vegan meal. YUM. I added some roasted green chile from this year's crop to round it out and had a vegan whole wheat tortilla. It was really comforting to have something so wholesome and familiar after spending a week eating snap peas and tofu. My mom found this all be be incredibly hilarious, especially because she can't even pronounce the word "vegan." She explained to me that when she was young, in a family of 10 children mind you, beans and tortillas were sometimes all they ate for weeks at a time. In the winter beans were the only thing they could afford (pintos are still relatively cheap, what else can you get for 64 cents a pound?!) She also told me how she'd spend long summer days in fields eating cucumbers and tomatoes, and actually ate so many watermelons that she still can't eat them to this day. So here I am being all philosophical when I'm supposed to be delightfully quirky. But seriously, isn't ironic that my mom's vegan and organic upbringing stemmed from poverty, whereas today it is not easy to be poor and vegan, and fresh, pesticide free, organic sun ripened tomatoes will cost you a pretty penny (and man, Lincoln was one ugly dude, so you'll have to search hard.) Possibly that is why I was raised on so much meat and diary, because they were such a luxury for my mom when she was growing up and it makes parents feel good to provide for their kids what they never had. Well I'm not a p-sychcologist or anything but I'm just guessing that's how it works.

So my first ever vegan weekend. I survived, and that's a good thing, because it means I have yet to be eliminated from the gene pool (AHHH future baby Jamies!) It started out with my boyfriend being all cute and supportive and eating a giant bowl of Velveeta Shells and Cheese right in front of me while I struggled to finish off my snap peas (I don't like them, but yet another trait passed on from my mom's upbringing is YOU DO NOT WASTE FOOD.) That night I had a great nightmare that I had forgotten that I'd become a vegan and ate pizza and ice cream. I woke up in a sweat and had to convince myself that I had indeed not killed my goal in a bout of forgetfulness. It was very similar to my college days dreams of "OH MY GOD I FORGOT I SIGNED UP FOR THAT CLASS AND I NEVER WENT" and my more recent dreams of "OH MY GOD I FORGOT I MAXED OUT THAT CREDIT CARD AND FORGOT TO PAY IT OFF."

Next I went to a friend's nephew's first birthday party at Peter Piper Pizza. I got to sit and eat bland bread sticks while everyone chowed down on peperoni pizza and Superman cupcakes. I inquired as to weather the Superman cupcakes were vegan, they were not, apparently they were made with real Supermans. Because I survived I treated my self to a big ole fat bowl of tofu and Thai curry. Man, I love Thai. The next day, the super uber boyfriend's parents got to meet the newly found vegan's parents. It was awkward but I guess they like each other so that's good. We went out for Italian, and when I asked the waiter if the marinara had beef stock in it he gave me the strangest look. I'm thinking that's the first of many strange looks. Welcome to the vegan world.

Right now I'm at Flying Star and I'm totally loving their Buddha's bowl, which is like veggies, rice and tofu. Although I'm tossing picking at a few of these weird looking veggies, this is by far the best vegan dish I've had so far. Everyone should try it, and then go rake a Zen garden. I'm thinking world peace may lie in Buddha's bowl.

So that's pretty much it for now. I'm feeling really good, and maybe a little gassy, but ahem, Bean-o is not vegan. What the hell.

-Jamie "Buddha's bowl is in my panza!" Armer

How goes it in TEY-HAS Jana?